potatoandotherwise:

in math today my teacher asked what makes a number perfect and I said its dazzling personality and she almost kicked me out

h0odrich:

everything good makes you fat an addict or broke

onefitmodel:

nutrientnatalie:

Let me just say, just because you eat healthily and work out doesn’t necessarily mean you ARE healthy

Being afraid of sugar, a piece of cake, or anything not clean is not “healthy”

Being pissed and anxious and upset and mad at yourself for missing one day of working out is not “healthy”

Your entire life revolving around food, exercising and being healthy is not “healthy”

Just putting that out there

the most perfect post in the world

(Source: natalieloving)

rocknrollercoaster:

it must be really wild to actually have a positive relationship with your father

like

?????

some people really have that????

that’s incredibe

the-adequate-gatsby:

no homo

whole homo

2% homo

skim homo

soy homo

almond homo

coconut homo

rice homo

butter homo

#I Can’t Believe It’s Not Homo

(Source: femalemaincharacter)

misbeliefs:

me starting to like someone image

valvala:

also there were like way too many sexual jokes in teenage mutant turtles. not that there were A LOT but hearing a teenage mutant ninja turtle say “she’s so hot i can feel my shell getting tight” is not something i ever wanted to hear and now that i have i cannot unhear it

the-doctor-dean-in-221b:

what if Jesus had a middle name

and it was something really lame, like Harold.

"JESUS HAROLD CHRIST. COME HERE THIS INSTANT AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM."

"But MOOOMMM I’m healing a blind man!"

"DON’T MAKE ME GET YOUR FATHER"

"Which one?"

omgitsbrilliant:

livindavidaloki:

redhjedi:

The Hulk ain’t never lied.

I can’t even express how much respect I have for Mark Ruffalo.  The dude’s on the US terrorism watchlist for fuck’s sake.

Omg, it’s true

(Source: pipeschapman)

kakakarrotcake19:

creatureboy:

letthebeatdropx33:

sckrewedup:

We are here to serve & protect

Bullshit.

Someone I’m related said this:

"I was a policeman before this job, and I moved in to this [other line of work] because I got used to being able to hit something if it annoyed me."

Disorder caused by the orderly.

durq:

this is so important

jaclcfrost:

u think i am walking around the house with a blanket around my shoulders because i cold but in actuality it is my cloak and i am on an adventure

honestfictionist:

Joey - Role model for both men and women.

(Source: reginaa-phalange)

punacceptable:

HOW do white people wear shoes inside the house i dont understand that scares me so much